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Transitions

brendast

I didn’t expect much from today when I woke up this morning. The only thing on my agenda was to catch up on some laundry.

My day starts off like usual… feed the dog, feed myself, dispense meds, and get started.

After Gracie, my fifteen-year-old Shih Tzu, and I eat breakfast, I load the dishwasher and tackle the laundry.

I have way too many clothes—a result of gaining control of my diabetes and losing weight. I now have two sizes of clothes: what I wore before, and what I can wear now.

I am sorting through the larger clothes so I can pass them along, keeping a few oversized T-shirts because they’re comfortable. They also make great work shirts.

We’re in that in-between stretch where the seasons can’t quite make up their minds, so I’m trying to put my winter clothes away. That can get tricky here in the Midwest. Just when it feels like spring has settled in, winter rushes back and says, “Not so fast.”

I am packing the clothes I can no longer wear so I can pass them along. The winter clothes I still wear will go into storage—soon, once I’m sure Mother Nature is finished playing seasonal roulette with the weather.

But it’s not just about the clothes. It’s the space they take up—and what they represent.

The same is true for so many other things in my house.

I’m transitioning my office from designer Brenda to writer Brenda.

There are still too many pots and pans and small appliances in my kitchen—more than I need now. My family is smaller, and I don’t cook the way I used to when Carl and all four children were here.

I don’t need all of this anymore. I’m still figuring out what stays—and what it means to let the rest go.

The Hurrieder I Go, The Behinder I Get

brendast

While I was folding laundry this afternoon, I happened to think of this little cardboard sign I hung on the wall in the kitchen of my first apartment. 

I thought it was a cute saying, and would be a reminder to keep my apartment tidy. But I also liked the fact that it was printed in a psychedelic color scheme because—1970.

I currently find myself in the process of downsizing. That little quote seems just as true today as it was in 1970. It seems like the more I do, the more I find that still needs to be done. 

But, the meaning has shifted since I hung that sign so long ago. It’s not so much that I am behind now, as it is that I am just in the middle of things. 

I don’t like getting behind in my work, it’s true. I never have, especially in my professional life. 

But now, it is less clear where to start and where the middle happens, although the end is clear. I want more space and fewer belongings.

What I’m finding is that it isn’t so simple to lay the job out in a straight line like I’ve done most of my life. 

 I often find I can’t take the next step in one job because something else has to be done first.

A case in point… I live in a multi-level home. I am getting older, so I am trying to minimize the times I have to go up and down stairs every day. 

I want to create a space on a shelf to keep a few convenience foods, some things I can quickly grab for a no-fuss lunch or dinner. But before I can do that, I have to clear the shelf. 

With clearing the shelf comes deciding whether to move the items to a different location or let them go. 

Maybe I’m not getting behind after all.

Maybe there is no exact starting point.

Maybe it’s enough to just begin—wherever I am—and work my way through it, one piece at a time.